Saturday, August 11, 2012

I'm Exhausted, Leave Me Alone

Day one of the trip to Iceland.

Let me introduce the players (since my mothra thought I was traveling alone.)

There is me, Laura, Jarva, the Lorax, whatever (the only girl).
There is Kirby (the blonde one).
And there is Azmeer (the dark haired one).

Kirby and I were set to leave San Francisco at 9pm to fly out to New York City where we would meet up with Azmeer.  Azmeer got a boss flight on Virgin out to JFK, but Kirby and I were unable to book this flight.  SO, we booked a flight on United (can you feel the foreshadowing!?)

The trouble started when there was dual baseball game traffic paired with Outsidelands traffic going in every direction in San Francisco.   Well, actually, the trouble started when I forgot Black Baby (don't worry, I went back for her.)

We make it to the airport with 2 hours to spare.  It is a red eye, how long could the line be?  Well, the line wasn't long, but United does this really awesome thing where, it SAYS U.S. Airways on your check in, but they REALLY mean United.  What does that mean?  We were in the wrong terminal.  So, being the awesome hashers (runners) that we are, Kirby and I book it down to the correct terminal in record time.  The line was outrageous.  But it moved swiftly and soon we were checking in, ICELAND WAS HAPPENING SOON!!!

But wait, what do you mean our confirmation number is no good?  What do you mean you have to stand in this line, the line that is 2 times as long as the line you just stood in?  Why is it taking 15 minutes to service ONE person?

Before we knew it, there was less than 15 minutes before our flight was due to depart and we still had 15 people in front of us and out luggage to check.  I asked one of the workers at United, "What do we do if we are about to miss our flight?!"  He asked, "Where are you flying to?"  I said, "New York, JFK."  His response?  "Oh, JFK, that flight has been cancelled."  And walked away.


Quickly realizing that missing the red eye meant missing our connecting flight, the one that takes us TO ICELAND, we got a little bit peeved.  We were going to be here for a while.

Let's get this VERY long story short.

All flights from San Francisco to New York City were booked solid until the 13th.  I should be starting day 3 of my Icelandic trip on the 13th fuck face!  SO, to New Jersey we go!  But our flight literally left in HOURS, we had no time to go back to the East Bay.

After calling EVERY hotel in the area and realizing they were all booked solid (thanks Outsidelands!) Kirby and I set up camp in the luggage claim of SFO.  What a miserable night.  Thank god I was smart enough to bring Arrested Development.  We laughed our tears away. 

Kirby and I got to Newark at 2.30pm Eastern time, half an hour after our flight to Iceland departed New York City.  Then, in that 100% humidity and 90 plus degree weather that I do not miss, Kirby and I braved the New Jersey transit system and boogied on over to New York City (which they very excitedly announce on the train speakers!)

It is important to mention that at this time Azmeer was well on his way to Iceland, on the flight that all 3 of us were supposed to be on.  That is a hard pill to swallow when you are knee deep in hot shitty subway systems.  And I didn't cry.  (Kirby wouldn't let me).

Welcome to Penn Station, a cluster fuck of hot gross people and too many babies!  Thankfully, Kirby had done this trip before and was able to get us through the maze of the New York City subway with nearly no problems (we got on the right train, thought it was the wrong train, got off and realized it was the right train).  We then kicked the New York subways ass big time and managed to get to JFK 3 hours before our flight (oh, did I mention we had no idea if we were even on the flight to Iceland?)  This is where the trip turns for our heroes.

Not only were they able to get Kirby and I on the same flight to Iceland (one that would put us only a few hours behind our original landing time), we would get the seats next to each other with more leg room.  Oh, and what is that, it isn't going to cost us $800?!?  Oh and what more, we get to use British Airways private lounge that has unlimited free food and drinks AND a shower?  I can shower!?

Needless to say, I had to fight back tears the entire time we went through security.

And as I type this, my belly is full of free food, free drinks and holy shit, I took a shower.  So what if I haven't slept since Thursday night proper.  And so what if we still have a 5 hours flight and 7 hours time change ahead of us, WERE GOING TO ICELAND, BITCHES.

This seriously better be the single most amazing place I have ever been.

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